how precious life is.

Bad things always happen to good people. 
Only the good die young.

These sayings, phrases are both proven to be more and more relevant each day that I exist on this harsh planet Earth. The passing of one of the greatest teachers at my school this morning, has moved these thoughts further into the forward edges of my mind. He was such a kind, helpful, caring man and although these descriptive words are cliched and over-used, they could not be more accurate in a description of our Mr. Quinn. It takes great selflessness to become a guidance counselor in any high school. The endless hours he was willing to spend listening and helping students with anything they were going through, or just giving them a place to be when it was too hard to be anywhere else. Mr Quinn was simply a great man, and my thoughts and prayers are with his family. These type of things really bring me to realise just how precious life is, and how we should treasure every day and every person we meet, because we never know just how long that person will be around.

And to Mr Quinn I would like to say thank you, on behalf of myself and every other teenager that you helped; encouraged; listened to. Because I am sure that you would not have been thanked half as much as you should have been.

Rest In Peace. 

♡

a smile on their face.

Some kids, and teenagers, are handed the world on silver platters growing up, simply because of the family that they are born into. And hey, it's not their fault that they had super-rich great great grandparents who had so much money that it is still around to support their family today. Sure, a lot of people work hard at what they do, to make sure that when they leave, their children and even their children's children may have a good life. I get that. But what I don't get is why, or how, when a person is so well off, they can still find pathetic little things to complain about. It just shits me off that people who are experiencing real financial, family and mental issues, manage to go through every day with a smile on their face, not letting anyone know how much they're really battling on the inside... yet someone who just over-reacts has no problem letting everyone hear about it. 

Sit the fuck down bitch, your life is just fine.

♡

nobody is going to care.

High school - a bunch of hormonal adolescents forced together by the government to become knowledgeable, however is more often than not used as a social event. The crazy five years of our lives where we fall in love with a new person quicker than we buy new shoes, do stupid things that we regret later, become addicted to different forms of social networking, obtain a lot of different friends and lose just as many, have fights, get grounded, text too much, don't sleep enough and all with the excuse that "we are young". YOLO, maybe. Every day we go through the same routine, which is then repeated over and over again with only minor changes to keep us interested, and minor breaks in this cycle called 'holidays'. We go throw drama, bitch fights, judgement, bad decisions, backstabbers, heartbreak until we get completely and utterly sick of it, reach a certain age and graduate, then spend a few weeks talking about how much we're going to miss it. That's high school, right?

Some people, however, deal with it better than others. Some people have more than their fair share of heartbreaks and heartache. Some have more family troubles than others, some think their family is bad when it actually isn't. Some people have to deal with being completely alone from grade eight through to grade twelve, are teased and made fun of for things that they cannot nor will ever be able to change. For some people, high school is the best five years of their lives, and everything is perfect, they're loved by everyone, get wonderful grades and have no hesitation to rub that in the faces of those who don't. Some go through trauma, some develop depression; anxiety; eating disorders. Some feel the need to judge every single person they come across regardless of whether or not they are actually a good person themselves.

There is one thing, however, that every single one of us forgets for at least one period of time during those five years, whether it be forgotten for a minute, a month, a year, or four. And as my baby sister enters into the harsh life of adolescents tomorrow, I remind her of it. That is, that as important as it seems now, your friends, enemies, your social status, the amount of teachers that like you and even your grades, are not going to matter for one second once you finally step out the gates of your school for the last time in grade twelve. Nobody in the real world is going to care how popular or not you were in high school. Nobody is going to care how loved you were, nobody is going to care how hated you were, nobody is going to care how many boyfriends you had. Your high school social status is just that - for HIGH SCHOOL. And maybe in ten years time when you have a class reunion, it will once again be relevant. But until then, you lovely people who beat yourselves up every day trying to fit in, be some perfect kid to make everyone like you, you are wasting your time. Be happy, have fun, lighten up! High school doesn't last forever, and thank goodness for that.

♡

judgmental attitude.

What other people do to their bodies does not in the slightest way have any effect on you or your body. If someone wants to get 7000 piercings, or tattoos, or stretch their ears, let them. If they want to drink alcohol every weekend or smoke, why does that have anything to do with you? Why must you feel the need to throw in your two cents worth when it's their life? Is your own life not exciting enough? You have so much spare time that you can stick your opinions every which way just to criticize other people. Are you perfect? Are you the most exciting person in the world? Not to mention the fact that none of those things actually define a 'bad' person.

Take a good look at yourself and think. Are you really in any position to judge another human being? What makes you even slightly superior to them? Their personal decisions on the things they want to do and the way they choose to live their lives does not, nor will ever have anything to do with you, and quite frankly your judgmental attitude sucks.

And that is all I have to say.

♡

this is me.

Today and yesterday, I have not had much of a desire to blog about anything in particular. However I promised myself when I started this blog that I wouldn't let it die like I did the last time - and three posts would just be ridiculous. Therefore I decided to post about me. This, that I am about to copy and paste from a word document on my laptop, is something that I wrote a few months ago, when writing was a thing that I had started doing to help me feel better. Well... it still is. E very so often I'll open it up, and go through it and fix it and such. So yeah, this is me. 

"Hi, I'm Caitlin. I like sparkly things and expressing my feelings through pen and paper. Maybe a computer keyboard or a set of guitar strings. I hate my middle name. I believe in giving a second chance. And a third chance. And a forth. We need to acknowledge that no one is perfect. I think that sometimes it's okay to dance like a crazy person and sing as loud as you possibly can, depending on who you're with. Friendship is important. Trust is even more important. I eat way too much junk food and am in love with Nutella. I like pretty hair and I think eyes are the most interesting thing about a person. I hate being tickled. It's like torture, but you're forced to laugh. I believe that Newton's third law is relevant in life in general. Escalators and manikins freak me out.  I believe in NOT sugar-coating - not everything is always going to be okay. That's just how it is. I can't stand baked beans or tinned spaghetti. I always need to have the last word. It's necessary to be able to string a coherent English sentence together. It's even more helpful if you can do it in more than one language. Sometimes, it's okay to be completely confused. I believe in not ever regretting anything you've done, and in taking a chance when it's offered to you. I can be extremely negative at times. Making mistakes is fun; as long as you learn from them. Sometimes you need to do things even though you know they're wrong. I believe that each person decides their own fate, and you should bare the consequences for your decisions. I believe in getting help when you need it, and even when you don’t, or think you don’t. I over-think everything. I cry, a lot. I think when a human being trusts you with their secret, it is essential to keep said secret safe. Forced family time is not fun. Music is something to live by. I believe in listening to people, and respecting their opinions, even if you don't agree. Don’t try to change their opinion, but stick up for what you believe in. I think that nightmares make dreams more special. I greatly dislike people who lie; cheat; steal. I love lazy Sunday afternoons. Every person needs to be creative at least once in their life, even if they suck at it. Freshly painted nails are lovely. I think that if you're polite to people, people should be polite to you. Give out as many compliments as you can. Karma works in two ways. I believe in believing that things will get better, that the sun will shine tomorrow, that this is not the end, even if everything seems hopeless..."

♡

that's what's important, to me.

I absolutely hate how hard some people try to be 'accepted'. And it's not just girls with their boobs all over facebook and their make-up with a small amount of face on the side. There are attention-seeking guys too. Yes, I mean your mirror-selfies without your shirt and your constant 'at the gym' statuses. Driving around town in your banged-up cars with the shit pop music blaring. The caption of your profile picture may as well say "am I pretty yet? Please love me *insert ridiculous 'cuteface' here*".

But the thing is, you see. Our average facebook whore, whether male or female, does not in fact seek the attention of the opposite sex, as is a common misconception. Girls, they put on the make-up and the pretty clothes and they go out and look all nice and they post photos later, only so that other girls can tell them how pretty they are. Or the common "omg, i am so ugly and fat x0x0x0", with the seven thousand comments of "you are actually beautiful" below it. Most of which are also female. The guys just click like and move on. Girls seek acceptance from other girls. And guys seek acceptance from other guys. Sure, every girl loves to look at a guy who has abs and is tanned but honestly, males respect other males who manage to get their ass to the gym everyday. Right? 

On the other hand, some girls just like to show guys their boobs, and some guys just want sex.

Me? I don't give a fuck today, didn't give a fuck yesterday, and won't give one tomorrow either. 

Either way, it annoys me. Why do you need everyone to like you? The only person you need to be accepted by, is yourself. I spent years trying to impress everyone else before I realised that I was turning into a person that I did not want to be, and I absolutely hated that. Now I wake up every morning, and I do what I want, I say what I feel, and if people don't like me, then that's okay. Because in all honesty, I like to think that I am one of the most real people you will ever meet. And that's what's important to me. Being real.

♡ 

cherish your youth

I am so sick to death of 12-14 year olds who try to act like they're 20 years old. I act younger than them sometimes, it's absolutely ridiculous. When I was twelve my shorts came to my knees and it didn't even occur to me that cropped shirts existed. So why are they in such a big rush to grow up? The world isn't that great, from what little of it I've seen. But no, you all want your iPhones and your boyfriends and your stripper heals with the little black dresses. To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make you look seventeen. It makes you look like a try-hard twelve year old.

And I mean, if that's how they want to act; dress; speak, then one insignificant blog post isn't going to stop them from doing it. I just wait for the day when they ACTUALLY have to start growing up, and they realise it's nothing like they were pretending to do five years ago. Growing up isn't about going to parties and getting drunk and having sex and wearing less clothes. Growing up is about moving on; accepting yourself; taking responsibility; making decisions. Even I'm not ready to do that yet, so I doubt any uninformed grade eight kid could handle it either.

It's okay to act immature and stupid sometimes. Laugh too loud. Dance in the rain. Sing at the top of your lungs even if you suck. Stop caring what you look like. Make believe. Paint your nails ugly colours. Have spontaneous water fights. Tell people how you really feel. Throw paint at a piece of canvas and call it art. Go to school one day without wearing make-up. Forget about boys for a while. Eat chocolate with your best friend at two in the morning. Run around a crowded shopping center for no reason. Cherish your youth - one day you won't have it anymore.

♡